Diggin' You
by lelahbu
Summary: "Why do I want to taste her cotton candy lip gloss? I don't even really like cotton candy."
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**A/N: Hellooooo, it is 2015 and I am Victorious trash. This is a weird AU that I thought of in the shower. Those crazy shower thoughts. Anyway, it'll be told entirely from Robbie's POV, because Robbie is my sunshine, and it features Rade best-friendship, along with sprinkles of Bade and huge chunks of Cabbie, simply because I am that much trash. I hope you enjoy! Also wtf I don't own Victorious or any of these characters, you're cray.**

What's really funny is that at first, I didn't want anything to do with Cat.

She was introduced to me through Jade, and if I was honest, I wasn't sure if I trusted Jade's judgement. She liked to reenact scenes from _The Scissoring_ , just for her own enjoyment. And she'd crashed our band practice, unannounced, with a tiny girl who had dyed her hair cherry red. They were a sight for sore eyes, but I didn't appreciate it, so I wasn't going to succumb to her matchmaking wishes.

Jade was always like this with me. In middle school, we were each other's only friends. Unlikely friends, I might add. She was the weird goth chick and I was a scrawny new kid who wore glasses that were too big, so naturally, we gravitated toward one another. Everyone thought it was weird that we associated with each other. I don't know what they expected, because it's not even like anyone else was trying to be friends with us. I didn't have the "cool kid" physique, and frankly, Jade scared people. I hate the term "outcasts" because it sounds cliché, but that's essentially what we were.

I think she let me stick around because I'm a pushover. She came over once, without asking, and said, "Shapiro, you'd be cute if you didn't dress like that." And then went to my closet, and looked around and said, "You need to be restyled." Like I was her Barbie doll or something. She took me to the mall, and when she got me in "cool" clothes, she realized I didn't suit them very well. Leather jackets and I don't mix well. Especially at fourteen. So we left empty handed, and I guess she learned to deal with my polo shirts.

That's not even the end of it, though. She would talk the entirety of our lunch period, and I would sit and listen, nodding my head every so often. She sometimes made me give her my chocolate pudding, or one of the Oreos that my mom had packed from my lunch. She made me sit next to her on the bus, and if we missed the bus, she made me walk her home. She made me take her to the school dance in the eighth grade. I kissed her. She didn't make me kiss her, but I did anyway.

We then became weird with each other after that. It wasn't an unbearable weird. It was just that we didn't really like each other that way. Not a whole lot, at least. But we would go on dates, and she would hold my hand, and sometimes kiss me. Looking back, we don't really know why we did this. And now, we don't speak of it. We're kind of embarrassed about it, I guess. Thankfully, our little summer romance didn't last long. It was just the summer before our freshman year of high school. That's actually why Jade ended it. She said, "Listen, Shapiro, _listen,_ I just think that high school is going to present lots of opportunities." What she meant was, high school is going to be full of hot guys.

Jade auditioned for Hollywood Arts High School, and got in. That meant that we'd be going to different high schools. Which was okay, because she still lived down the street from me. But it also meant that we'd have different friends, and also it meant that I couldn't sit with her at lunch. I also wouldn't be able have a class with her, which meant we couldn't study for our tests together. Not that we really did that anyway, but now, we'd never have a chance of doing it.

I was nervous starting high school at North Ridge, if I was honest. Part of it was because Jade wasn't there. But that wasn't the whole reason. I soon met this guy named Beck, who was decked out in too much Abercrombie, and André, who dressed like a regular person. Us three hit it off, and I guess I'm just a magnet for unlikely friends. We soon found out that we can all play instruments, which maybe I should have this mentioned earlier, but I play guitar. Wow, I'm so cool and hip, right? Tell that to the people that can actually wear leather jackets, look hot, and know it.

I've been getting off track this whole time. Sorry.

Anyway, so I play guitar. And so can André, but he can also play the piano. And Beck can play the drums, and the guitar, and bass. Why aren't we going to Hollywood Arts? Seriously.

But yeah, so we can all play instruments, and we decided, how will we fulfill our fifteen-going-on-sixteen year old angst? Forming a band, of course. What we ended up doing was Beck recruited his buddy Finn, who could play drums a lot better than Beck could as he was in the school marching band, and who, unsurprisingly, also wore clothing entirely from Abercrombie. And Beck took bass, André took piano, and I took guitar. And thus, our band was born.

We didn't really have a name. Or songs. We mostly covered alterative songs that we liked and thought made us cool. But we rehearsed a lot. Every Thursday and Sunday from 4:00-6:00, we were set up in my garage, making mediocre sounds out of our instruments.

Now we're getting to the part where I first met Cat.

I'd told Jade, naturally, that I was in a band. I joked that I might not have time for her anymore, because the ladies were always all over us, but she didn't think it was very funny. She asked me more about the band, and when and where we rehearsed, and the next time we did, she showed up. And she'd brought Cat.

I didn't see them come in, and I was actually singing at the time. Oh yeah, we all took turns singing. Except Finn. He just liked to sit by his drums. André was the best, in my opinion. But anyway, I was singing. It was _Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts_ by the Arctic Monkeys. We chose to cover that song because it said the word "fuck" in it. Also, because it was by the Arctic Monkeys, but it was in the lesser known to only semi-popular range of songs by them. At least we thought so. It wasn't _I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor,_ because we weren't basic.

So there I was, singing a song that said the word "fuck" only once, but it was in front of a girl that I'd never seen before, and she had dyed-red hair, and for some reason, was at my house despite the fact that I didn't even know her name.

"Hey," I weirdly spoke to Jade from across the room after the song ended. That made Beck, André, and Beck's friend Finn all turn and look.

"Hey," Jade said back, taking a few steps toward us, Cat following closely.

There was a weird pause, everyone just staring at everyone until I said, "Guys, this is Jade. She's a friend of mine. Jade, this is Finn," I pointed to Finn, "And Beck," I nudged to Beck, "And Ahh—" I was about to say André's name, but I was cut off by Cat.

"André," Cat had said with a smile. I learned later that they went to junior high together, just like Jade and me.

"Hey, Cat," André replied with a grin, and that's how I learned Cat's name. "How're you?"

Before I could hear Cat's answer, Jade nearly lunged at me, pulling me by my arm over to the side, a yard or two from everyone else. "You're coming to my birthday party right?" she asked. It was next week.

"Yeah," I was rubbing my arm, "But asking me that question is not a good enough excuse to wound me."

"You're barely wounded," she said. "Listen—bring that bass player."

"Beck?"

"Yeah, whatever. Bring him, or don't come."

Knowing Jade, this meant she thought he was hot. Even in all that Abercrombie.

"Okay," I shrugged. I'm such a pushover.

There was barely a pause between us before Jade spoke again. "Ask Cat to hang out."

"What?"

"Come on, trust me. You're going to like her."

I could actually feel my cheeks flush red. And it wasn't even because I liked Cat, it was because this was the first time we'd spoken of my so-called "love life" since our weird summer romance. I was okay with talking about Jade's, but not mine. "No, I won't," I retorted.

"Yeah, you will."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you, Rob. And I just think you'll do well together."

"I don't care."

"Rob."

"Shush."

Beck was coming over to where Jade and I were standing, his bass guitar in its case and his backpack over his shoulder. Finn was trailing behind him. Those two were almost a packaged deal at this point. "Hey, we're gonna head out," he told me, his thumb jetting backward to point to Finn, before turning to Jade. "Nice meeting you." He didn't even smile or anything.

"Nice meeting you, too," Jade's voice was chipper and even though Beck probably didn't know that it was different, I could totally tell. She was trying to seem as nice as possible.

Before I could comment on this, she turned back to me, a stern expression on her face. "Just ask her to hang out."

"Oh my god, no. That's weird. Fuck off."

"Why is it weird?"

"I don't even know her."

"Just ask her."

"No."

"Robbie."

"Jade."

She glared at me before giving up. I rarely ever stand up to her, sometimes when I do, I'm defeated, but other times, she lets me win. This was one of those times.

We returned to the now packed-up André catching up with Cat, and that's when André decided to take his leave, as well. We all watched as André left, before another weird pause occurred and we all stared at each other for a few moments. "Sorry she made you come here," I remarked to Cat.

Cat responded with a giggle, and Jade responded with a nudge to my side.

"It's okay," Cat shrugged, "You guys were good."

"Thanks."

Was that really all I could say? Thanks? I must have looked like a fucking doofus. Yeah, that's right. A _fucking_ doofus. Again, there was a weird pause that resulted in all of us staring at each other.

"Okay, Shapiro, I know you're a ball of fun, but I'm bored. So I'm gonna go home," Jade broke the silence, taking a bit of a pause before adding, "Are you coming, Cat, or are you staying here?"

I sent Jade the best glare I could muster. Nu-uh. She wasn't the boss of me, and I wasn't going to hang out with _her_ friend. _Her_ recommendation. Whatever. Nope. Not happening.

Cat scurried by Jade's side again, shaking her head, "No, I'll go with you." She waved to me, though, a warm grin spread across her face, "Thanks for letting me come here. It was nice to finally meet you. Jade talks about you all the time."

It was then Jade's turn to glare, and it was at Cat, before she headed to the door. "Seeya, Rob." She muttered, pushing the door open.

"Bye," Cat waved again with a smile before heading out the door.

I was then left with the task of clearing up the garage, the faintest of a blush on my cheeks.

 **A/N: Hey wow that was a totally well written and not shitty start to this fic. Thanks for making it all the way through! I'll try to make it less shitty as the chapters go on, but not promises.**


	2. Chapter 2: Jade's Party

**A/N: In case you were wondering, Tori will not be making a cameo in this fic, 'cause she's thirsty and we don't want her screwing things up. Thank you and goodnight.**

My life between that particular band rehearsal and Jade's birthday party is not interesting in the slightest, so I'll spare you the details. Except, I _did_ get an A on my Algebra test. Watch out, ladies.

Anyway—Jade's party. Now, Jade is _rich_. Well, okay, Jade's not rich, but her parents are. We live in an upper middle class suburban Los Angeles neighborhood as it is, but Jade's house is different. For one, it's got a gate around it. If that doesn't tell you all you need to know, I don't know what will. Also, her parents are so rich because they work all the time. She's never really told me what they do. All I know is that they're loaded, and rarely ever home.

So it makes sense to for Jade have a huge sweet sixteen party. I certainly wasn't surprised. It was one of those where you just invite people. You may not be friends with them—not even acquaintances—but you're having a party so they're invited. I think Jade didn't want to be sad if she only invited people she's friends with. Because honestly, it's not many. And I'm allowed to say that, because I don't have many either. If she did that, there would probably be like four people there. Including me.

I'd told Beck about Jade's party a few days before. "Remember my friend Jade?" I'd said, "Her birthday's on Saturday, and she's having a huge party if you want to come."

Beck agreed, and to my utter astonishment, didn't ask if Finn could tag along.

And Saturday rolled around, and that's when Beck and I put on our best party outfits to paint the town red. Which actually is an exaggeration, because though there was alcohol at this party, I didn't drink, and neither did Beck. But if anyone asks, we totally got wasted. Also, I'm not sure if Beck's Abercrombie shirt counts as a "best party outfit."

We were fashionably late to this party, which I was allowed to do, since I was Jade's best friend, and there were people everywhere. In the yard, and in her pool, and some were on the roof. The inside was crowded as well, but I found Jade in the kitchen, with Beck following closely behind. I knew my way around Jade's house, but he didn't and I'd forgotten that. This really wasn't the best way to see someone's house for the first time.

"Happy Birthday!" I had to shout over the loud music.

Jade's face lit up when she saw me, but even more so when she saw I'd brought Beck. "Hi!" She exclaimed excitedly, a huge smile gracing her lips. I wasn't sure if I'd ever seen her smiling that big.

"You remember Beck…" I still had to shout, so I guess it went more like, "You remember Beck!"

"I do!" We were all shouting at each other, even though the conversation didn't call for it. "Nice to see you again!"

"Same to you!" We all looked like idiots.

Jade informed us of where all the refreshments were, and she told Beck things like where the bathroom was and that she could totally show him the pool, and he said that it looked really crowded, to which she responded by telling him about her parents' private hot tub, which really wasn't subtle at all, if you ask me. Beck didn't look like he'd protest, though, if I'm honest.

"I'm going to look around!" I told them, turning to Beck to see if he'd follow me. As I'd gotten a good few feet away, I realized he hadn't, and upon turning back, I was noticing Jade pulling out her flirt moves. First, she was putting her hand on his bicep, which really wasn't anything special, I'd seen much better biceps in my time, but she did anyway. And her head was tilted at him, and she was doing a flirty giggle where her nose crinkles up a little bit. And I'm not gonna lie, it's cute. Anyway, I decided to let them do their thing. Hey, that could be party of my birthday present to Jade-leaving them alone.

Because I knew my way around, I was able to maneuver through the crowd pretty easily. The people in her living room were dancing, with cups that probably contained alcohol. There were people making out in the dining room. I was confused as to why they thought the dining room was a good place for making out, but then again, I'm not really an expert on that kind of stuff. I decided that going upstairs probably wasn't the best idea, so I did the opposite and found my way to the basement.

There were just people sitting around down there, and there were two girls making out in the corner, and lo and behold, there was a face I knew. Cat was sitting on the edge of the couch on her phone, detached from the rest of the group that had been settled in the basement. Considering she was one of the three people I knew at this party, just barely but still, as the other two were getting their flirt on, I went over to her.

"Hey," I didn't have to shout down here, because the music was muted a ton. "Cat, right?"

Cat looked up from her phone, the faint grin already on her face widening, "Yeah! And you're Robbie."

"Yeah," I nodded, "Can I sit?"

"Yeah," Cat nodded back, putting her phone down.

We sat there for a moment before speaking, and Cat's grin was still plastered on her face. In fact, I couldn't recall ever seeing her otherwise. Granted, I had ever looked at her for maybe three minutes of my entire life, but still. She just sat and smiled all the time.

"Are your band members here?" Cat asked after a few moments.

"Just Beck," I shrugged. "The bass player."

Cat nodded, "Yeah, Jade was saying how she hoped you'd bring him."

I chuckled a bit, "She forced me to bring him. They're upstairs right now, and Jade's touching his bicep."

"Oh, my!" Cat exclaimed. I could detect some sarcasm in her voice, which gave her more points in my book. I also then told myself that I wasn't doing this to humor Jade. No sir, not me.

"I know, right? Scandalous," I shook my head. "So, what do you do at Hollywood Arts, then? That's where you go, right? Or did Jade find you on the streets?"

That got a giggle out of Cat before she responded, "No, I live in a house. And I sing a lot in that house. Also at school."

"Cool."

"Why aren't you at Hollywood Arts?" She asked this out of nowhere.

"Huh?"

"Well, you can sing, too, and play guitar. So why aren't you?"

I hadn't really thought about this. She was right, I possessed a decent amount of talent, I thought. Also, I'd get to go to school with Jade, and we could eat lunch together and study for tests together if we went to the same school. But at the same time, I had now been going to North Ridge for the past year. I knew my way around. I had friends. We were _sophomores_ now. That's the real shit, right there. We've been sophomores for like a month, but it's still real shit. Civics class and shit. That shit's real.

Sorry, I just said shit like forty times.

But I just told her that I didn't go to Hollywood Arts because I wasn't all that serious about it. Because honestly, I wasn't. Not like Jade, and probably not like Cat. Our band didn't even have a name, or original songs. We're really just in it so that we can say we're in a band and look cool. Cat nodded at that, her lips pursing to the side in thought.

We sat there the rest of the night. No—okay, we talked the rest of the night, without moving from that spot. That sounds better. The making out girls left, probably to find a place to do more than make out, and later, everyone else left, as well. I think it was because me and Cat were laughing too loud. I was telling her a joke that my dad told me, and I butchered it a lot, but Cat still found it funny. We just talked and talked until our voices started getting horse, and in the back of my mind, I was thinking about what Jade had said about us being good together. But that would give her that chance to say, "I told you so," and I didn't know how I felt about that.

I ignored these thoughts and just kept on talking to Cat, where I found out she loves 1980's romantic comedies ( _Pretty in Pink_ is her favorite), and jumping on trampolines, and spaghetti. She dyed her hair red because she'd gotten into Hollywood Arts and she was so excited about it that she wanted to dye her hair a crazy color. Her parents are lawyers. Also, they're probably getting divorced. She's taken tap dancing lessons since she was six years old. Her favorite animal is a giraffe. When she was in junior high, she was the biggest Jonas Brothers fangirl, and she had a poster of Nick Jonas on her ceiling. She really wants to go to Italy someday, specifically Venice, but Rome or Florence will do. She talks in her sleep. She likes a lot of cream and sugar in her coffee. She can never get enough cotton candy. She's wearing cotton candy lip gloss right now. Why do I want to taste her cotton candy lip gloss? I don't even really like cotton candy.

And we were so caught up in each other. It was so weird. I'd never had any moments like this ever. And soon it was two in the morning. We found out because Jade came downstairs with Beck in tow, and she'd probably had a little to drink, but she wasn't drunk, and she said, " _There_ you two are!"

We snapped out of it, then. And that's when we realized that we had been alone in Jade's basement for a very long time, and also that the music had stopped, and that there wasn't anyone outside. The party was over.

"As happy as I am to see this," she sauntered over to where Cat and I were sitting, "It's like, two thirty, and I'd like you to leave." She turned around to Beck, extending her arm to him, her teeth biting her lower lip. Another Jade West flirting technique. Her other arm reached for his bicep again, her fingertips running up and down his arm. "Did I mention you've got great arms?" she murmured.

I turned to Cat, whose eyebrows were furrowed in confusion at this, and I had to stifle laughter. Beck's face was flushed red, and Jade pointed it out. "Your face is red. Are you hot in that flannel?"

I blinked at them, and then to Cat again. I hadn't ever been this close to Jade when she was flirting. I'd only ever really witnessed from afar. The flirting she'd done with me in eighth grade was not _this_ kind of flirting. When I got a look at Beck, I could actually witness him getting flustered over Jade.

"Y-Yeah, I mean, I've got a shirt on underneath…tank top…." he muttered, and that's when I noticed that he'd had a bit to drink too. They weren't drunk, by any means. I'd seen drunk before. My parents always get drunk when they see their siblings, my aunts and uncles. But, they had been drinking a little. That much was obvious.

"By all means then," Jade mused, "Take this off." She pulled at a piece of the plaid fabric.

I stood instantly. "Not the Abercrombie!" I exclaimed. Jade shot me a glare. She does this with everyone, but the glares mean different things. Sometimes, it's _You'll be sorry for that_ and other times it's _We're in public._ This one was _Leave or I'll kick you in the balls_ , so I started to head to the door. "U-Uh, are you coming, Beck?"

"No," Jade answered for Beck, before realizing that Cat was also in the room. "Shapiro, you can take Cat home, right?" Cat was looking mortified at this point. Beck's stupid Abercrombie shirt was now all the way unbuttoned.

"W-Well," I was a stammering idiot, "I don't have my license."

"You've got your permit."

"But I don't have my license."

"But you've got your permit."

Cat was now stood up, hesitant about what to do, and I shrugged, and waved her over. She kept her head down and joined me in the doorway, because the moment I had given up was the moment that Jade was kissing Beck. Like _really_ kissing Beck. Not the kind of kisses she'd give me. Why do I keep bringing that up? Oh my god, I'm sorry. We're literally trying to forget about it. Wow. Sorry. But yeah, so Cat and I left to let Jade and Beck make out, or whatever it is they wanted to do.

Jade's house was trashed. The Wests have got a maid service and I was certain that they were going to be the ones that had to clean everything up, and then I felt bad. As we were leaving through the front door, Cat said to me, "You don't have to take me home."

"Huh?" I blinked at her, my eyes needing to adjust to the sudden nighttime darkness, "How will you get home otherwise?"

She shrugged. "Bus."

My eyes probably widened a lot at her, because I did not expect that to come out of her mouth. "No," I shook my head, "No, oh my god, you think I'd literally let you get on a bus at hour? No way. I'll drive you home. No big deal." We had gotten to the end of Jade's driveway by that point, and that's when I said to Cat, "But I walked here. I live just down the road, in case you don't remember. It's a pretty nice neighborhood, but I can swing by in a few minutes and pick you up if you're worried—"

Cat shook her head, her lips tugging upward into a grin again. "No, I'll walk with you." The sidewalk was lit, after all. That was one of the perks about living in the suburbs, I supposed.

We walked in silence for a while, my hands shoved in my pockets with her following alongside me. I think we both were recovering from getting snapped out of our small talk trance. Or maybe we had moved to beyond small talk. I wasn't sure. Why do we need to make small talk anyway? What constitutes small talk?

It was in the silence that I noticed how tired I really was. I also noticed how much my throat hurt. Simply from talking so much. Also, I noticed that Jade was right, and I didn't want her to be, but she was, because me and Cat had literally just spent like five hours talking. Not an awkward silence, no real pause in conversation, nothing. We had been absorbed in one another. How weird is that?

I think Cat had noticed this, too, because she wasn't saying much, or maybe her throat just hurt as well, and maybe she was just now realizing how tired she was also. Had she ever had an experience like this? Where you're so caught up in someone else that you don't even realize an entire party ended? Maybe she didn't even notice. Maybe I was making too big a deal out of things. Did things like this happen all the time? Whatever the case, we walked all the way back to my house without speaking. Don't worry, the walk isn't far at all.

"Let me get the keys," my voice was raspier this time I spoke. I cleared my throat afterward. I entered my house, and my dad was in the living room watching _A Beautiful Mind_ by himself in the dark.

"Hey, kid," he greeted me with a grin, turning a lamp on. He was completely oblivious to the fact that I had just gotten home at such a late hour. "Who's this?" Cat had followed me inside.

I turned to her and back to him and then to her again, before saying, "Oh, that's Cat…"

"Hi," she peeped.

I decided to be nonchalant about the fact that I had gone to the hooks with the car keys, since I didn't have my license yet, but Dad was too busy talking to Cat to even notice.

"Nice to meet you! Were you at Jade's party, too?"

"Yep!"

"Was it fun?"

"Yeah, it was great!"

God, I needed to intervene before this got bad. "Okay, is Mom not asleep? We should be quieter." I was walking and talking at the same time, "And Cat was just leaving, actually, so…" I trailed off, leading Cat back out the front door and to my dad's Volvo parked outside.

"Your dad's nice…" Cat giggled lightly as she was getting into the passenger's seat.

"Ha, sure." I put the car in reverse and backed out of the drive way. I had never driven with someone under the age of eighteen in the car before. Jade did this all the time, but I was no Jade.

Cat told me the directions to her house as we came upon them. It was really calm, I found, even for Los Angeles, driving around at almost three in the morning. It was like a teen romance movie. Literally, John Mayer was playing really lightly on the radio. I don't know the name of the song, but I'd heard it before. It's one of his hits. It was voice-y and guitar-y and that was really it. I felt like I was in _Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist_ or something.

She lived in a neighborhood similar to mine and Jade's. Her house was more similar to mine, not so much Jade's. She didn't have a swimming pool, or a gate. But it looked really nice. I hoped to see inside one day.

"Thanks for driving me," Cat spoke, her voice soft and raspy.

"No problem," I shrugged.

"Thanks for keeping me company tonight," she then said.

I blinked at her, and thanked the heavens that it was dark, because I was pretty sure my cheeks were pink, and I didn't want her to see. "Ditto." That was all I managed to say.

That made her giggle faintly. "I like talking to you," she said.

"I like talking to _you_."

"Can I give you my number?"

"Yeah."

"…"

"…"

"You can come inside, if you want."

 **A/N: WOW. No, get your mind out of the gutter. Also, I finished this for Ashley, who is at work right now and I would like to surprise when she gets home. She works at Target, go say hi. I'm very surprised that I could finish this. The next one might be a while, though. Also, I'm Bade af in this. Hope you enjoyed! Leave feedback if you're ever so willing.**


	3. Chapter 3: Is this a date?

**A/N: WOW where have I been? I can't tell you, because I don't even know. Except I have been at an internship. That's a good excuse, right?**

For the record, I declined Cat's offer to go inside that night. I kind of looked like a goddamn idiot doing it.

"O-Oh…" I stammered, "Well, uh, I don't know. I don't think so. I-It's late. I should probably get home."

"Oh…" I never really used to know what an author meant by someone's words "piercing the air." You know what I mean? Like English class and shit? After hearing this from her, though, I had an idea of what it meant.

"Uh, some other time, though," I muttered, "Some other time would be great. I'll hold you to it."

That made Cat grin, cute little dimples poking her cheeks. "Okay. I'll text you then."

Now, I am certainly not an expert when it comes to romance or whatever the hell this was, but I was pretty sure this meant that she was never going to text me. While part of me was certainly okay with this, the other part was yelling _Why didn't you go inside, you idiot! That's the last time you'll ever see her! Way to go!_

To my surprise, however, I got a text from her the next day. It was just conversation, but it was something.

Jade started coming to our band rehearsals. I certainly didn't ask her to, but she would anyway. When she'd come, Beck would stop, _in the middle of a song,_ and say, "I think this is a good place to stop, guys." And then he'd skip off into the sunset with Jade. I don't know if they had sex on Jade's birthday, but I think they did. Two weeks after that party is when I knew for a fact that they'd slept together at least once, so whether or not the first time was at that party is beyond me. Good for them, you know.

Oddly enough, I was really thankful that Jade was ignoring me for Beck, because while they were getting it on, I was texting Cat. And I _did not_ need Jade's input whatsoever. Because one thing I didn't like was now that Cat and I were just texting, I could feel myself starting to get those stupid crush feelings, and I _hated_ it. You know what I mean, when you're excited to see you have a text from them, and your heart does that dumb fluttering thing when you think about them, and you wonder what they think about you, and you want to taste all their stupid lip glosses, whether it be cotton candy or orange sherbet. So, if Jade knew that I had even an inkling of feelings like this, she'd want to know all about them. I knew that if she knew about these stupid crush-y feelings, she would pressure the hell out of me. I could practically _hear_ her when I thought about it. _Oh my god, ask her out! If you won't do it, I'll tell her you like her. Should I ask if she likes you? Holy shit, this could be gold. We can go on double dates! Come on, don't be a pussy, just tell her you like her._ If, by some miracle, I asked Cat out and she agreed, Jade would want to know everything. _Have you kissed her yet? When are you gonna kiss her? Hell—when are you gonna_ _ **fuck**_ _her? Come on, it's no big deal. I'll help prepare you. This is so great. I can give you sex tips._ Even if I didn't tell her that I liked Cat, she would know. She'd either weasel it out of me or she would just _know_. And then she would tell Cat. Being best friends with Jade West is stressful sometimes, let me tell you.

I couldn't help but be relieved that this whole Beck and Jade thing happened at the same time as this weird thing with Cat. They were too busy to each other to pay attention to anyone else. Therefore, I was able to maneuver this on my own. Like a man.

But, because I didn't have any moral support whatsoever, I flaked on being able to respond with confidence. She'd text something like, "ugh, I h8 algebra! It's so confusing!"

Now, what I _wanted_ to say was, "I'm great at algebra, I can help you out sometime."

But instead, what I said was, "Haha, I know, algebra sux. :p" I mean, I wasn't wrong.

There were several instances like this. She would make it blatantly obvious that she wanted to hang out, and I would say something stupid and it wouldn't happen. I think that Cat was getting tired of being subtle, because I got a text from her one evening like, "hey! Heard of that new sushi place? Nozu?" and I just said, "Sure," and she replied, "Would u wanna go with me?"

It took her a long time to type it. I kept seeing those three dots. Or, she was taking a long time to decide if she really wanted to send that text. Or, I was overanalyzing things.

Either way, I agreed, and we set it up for that Friday night.

I had gotten my driver's license by this point, and I was going to pick her up at her house at seven. All of this felt like a date, but I wasn't sure. Also, how embarrassing would that be? If I assumed we were going on a date and it turned out we weren't. Friends go for sushi together all the time. What made this a date?

All of this was being pondered as I was getting ready for this outing. I decided to skip anything that would make it seem like I thought this was a date. Cologne was out. Styling my hair too much was out. Wearing anything besides jeans was out. But then, when I went to pick her up, she was wearing a skirt. Then, I told myself to stop overanalyzing things again.

But I picked her up, and we found our way to Nozu, and seeing her in person again was like magic. It was so lame, but we just _got_ each other. We could talk forever and make each other laugh and our conversations weren't boring and we agreed on a lot and we had the same habit where we make up sayings like they're real things people say when they're not and it was so weird. It was just so weird.

I don't remember everything we talked about. Plus, I don't think you want a play-by-play on everything we said anyway. Also, _maybe_ there's stuff I don't want to tell about. I can keep secrets too. I do remember some specifics, though, if you're ever so curious.

"I can't believe your dad's the weather guy on channel 2!" She'd met the man, and it took me telling her about this for her to realize. That's what it's always like, though. My dad's never really stopped on the street, he just gets stares from people—the kind of stares that are like, _Where have I seen him before?_ "My mom's got a crush on him."

"Hey, so does mine." That got a laugh out of her.

"Yeah, but what's your _favorite_ ice cream?" Cat asked me, but this was a little bit later.

"Oh, god—there's so much pressure," I shook my head and bit my lip. "Neapolitan, I guess. You get a mix of all the basic flavors that way."

"Wow, you're _boring_!"

"Oh? And what's your favorite then, missy?"

Without hesitation, she answered, "Chunky Monkey." Which was funny, because I never pegged her for a Chunky Monkey kind of person. Also, I forgot all about Chunky Monkey, and that would have been a top contender for my answer.

"I'm impressed," was all I said.

We talked about other stuff too, and we ate our sushi, and then I suggested we go see if we can find a grocery store that sells Ben & Jerry's so we could get some Chunky Monkey ice cream, and she smiled at that, and my heart did a lame flippy-over thing, and we walked just a few doors down to this cute home-owned place, and they had Ben & Jerry's but they didn't have _Chunky Monkey_ , which wasn't acceptable, so we went to drive somewhere else and I said that we were on a mission, so Cat kept singing spy music. We found and bought our ice cream, and Cat said we could go to her house to eat it, so that's what we did.

She led me inside, and her house was the cleanest house that I'd ever seen. Like, Jade's got a maid service, and Cat's house was cleaner. It smelled like cleaner too, but it was nice cleaner. I liked it. A lot of the lights were off, and I could gather that no one was home, so I asked about it.

"Oh, I told you that my parents are getting divorced? That's because they hate each other," Cat was saying this nonchalantly, as she led me into the kitchen and opened a drawer to pull out two spoons, "They've got high-demanding jobs in the first place, so they spend a lot of time at their offices to avoid each other. The only reason they really come back anymore is to sleep in a bed. My Nona comes by almost every day and makes dinner and everything," he handed me the spoon, "so that's nice."

"Yeah," I took the spoon from her, "That is nice."

"And we're not here alone," she said, peeling the plastic off the lid of the carton, "My brother's upstairs."

I watched her take the lid off of her ice cream and get a little bit on her thumb and then stick the thumb in her mouth to lick it off. That caused a pause in what she was saying, so it was a little awkward when she finally said, "So don't get any ideas."

I laughed at this, because she was joking, but also I was wondering if that meant that this was a date. I remember thinking _Is this a date? I think this is a date. We're probably on a date._

She walked me to her living room, and turned on a couple lamps to brighten the room up a bit. The room was still dim despite the lamps being on, but she plopped down cross-legged on her couch anyway. She looked up at me, and wouldn't look away until I sat beside her, my ice cream open.

This was the first real silence of the night. We didn't speak to each other if we were both eating sushi at the same time or something, but there were others in the restaurant and music playing but this was real silence. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt much longer.

"We could watch a movie, if you want," Cat suggested softly, her eyes falling to the carton of ice cream in her hands, "Or we could just talk."

"I feel like with you and me, if we start a movie, we'll end up talking anyway."

Cat's gaze lifted to meet mine, her lips curled into a small grin, before nodding and looking back down at her ice cream. "Yeah," she agreed. "You're right." She giggled airily after that.

Another pause fell into conversation, and then Cat said, "Is Beck annoying about Jade, too?"

This was the first time we were ever talking about them.

"Sometimes," I laughed, spooning out another scoop of ice cream.

"Jade won't shut up about him," Cat shook her head.

"Beck stops rehearsals for her," I told her, "André's pissed about it."

This conversation was not nearly as gossipy as it looks. We were both kind of laughing about it to ourselves. I think that for both of us, laughter is a bit of a nervous habit.

"They're insane," Cat muttered.

"They're probably in love." I said.

Cat looked at me, her mouth full of ice cream, before swallowing. "You think so?"

I just shrugged. "They think they are, at least." I took a brief pause. "I'll bet anything that he'll get her one of those lame promise rings."

That made Cat actually laugh. Her laughter—her real laughter—was warm and it made you want to punch a kitten because it was so cute. When she laughed really hard, she nearly doubled over with her arms wrapped around her stomach and her dimples predominant on her cheeks. Making her laugh made my chest clench and it was so stupid but I liked it.

Anyway, that was the end of talking about Beck and Jade for the night. We talked about a few other things that I don't really remember that much, and in the middle of it I noticed how close she and I had ended up sitting to each other. We started out a good sofa cushion's length away, and now we were almost on top of one another. I inched back a little bit, just to give her more space or whatever, but in a few minutes we were back in the same proximity.

We finished our ice cream, and they were sitting empty on her coffee table, and it was the only mess in the room, and we were at this point telling each other all of our best jokes.

"What's red and bad for your teeth?" she asked.

"What?"

"A brick."

After every one, we would both erupt with laughter. That's honestly because they were all funny.

And then soon, they got not so funny, but we still laughed really hard at them anyway.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot?"

"What?"

"A carrot."

We laughed a lot at that one. But guess what? Next thing I knew, she was _kissing_ me. Yeah. I know. It's like a stupid teen romance movie again. But she kissed me. And honestly _wow._ It tasted like Chunky Monkey. And it seemed like it was going on forever but honestly it wasn't, it was just a few seconds because she pulled away, and she said, "I'm sorry."

I'm so stupid, okay, because all I did was shake my head and there was a stupid grin on my face. I couldn't find words. No sir. Not when Cat Valentine just kissed me. Then I said, "It's okay." Why would I say that? I should have said, like, "Nah, mate, I liked that," or some shit. Y'know. Drop the hints.

But then she said, "You probably weren't comfortable with that."

And then I said, "I actually really was."

And then she smiled. And my heart did that fucking dumb thing again. And then I thought about how Jade was going to be _so excited_ and she was going to say, _I told you so_ and also she was going to think that she was a matchmaker. When really, we just kissed. She hasn't made any match, technically. Out of nowhere, when Cat and I were just kind of looking at each other and grinning like idiots, her brother came downstairs, and that kind of snapped us out of it. She turned quickly to look at him, the smallest hint of worry on her face, like perhaps he'd seen what just went down, but he didn't even acknowledge us. He walked strait into the kitchen, and then walked strait back upstairs carrying a Gatorade. He was older than her, like probably college age.

I used this time to look at my phone for the first time all night, and I realized that it was almost 10:30. It's not really like I have a curfew. My parents, though they both have Master's degrees, are airheads. I mean that in the most loving way possible. But for some reason, I wanted to pretend like I did. Like I had to be home in two minutes or my mom was going to kill me. I stood then, and said, "I should probably go."

Cat's face fell, and she just said, "Oh…" again. I learned then that I hated it when she did that.

"I…it's not…." I was about to look stupid again. "It's almost 10:30. It's not you. Promise. I just should go home. Y'know. Getting late and everything…"

She giggled a bit. "Alright."

We walked to the front door together, and she said that she'd text me, and I said okay, and we looked at each other like we were going to kiss again, but we didn't.


	4. Chapter 4: Phases

**A/N: Reason for my absence? A mixture of work and laziness. But alas, I return with another installment of whatever this is.**

Am I a bad friend for not telling Jade about what happened with me and Cat? You know what, don't answer that.

She was busy, that's all. She had a boyfriend to maintain, and I didn't need to bombard her with _my_ feelings. All our friendship had come to at this point was me listening to her talk about Beck. There wasn't anything wrong with that, it just got annoying after a while. Like, I would try and tell her about how my parents were going to go on some anniversary trip and it would just be me and my sister alone for a week and then she started talking about how Beck wants to buy an RV so that he won't have to live with his parents anymore. Then, she told me that she thought it was a great idea because then her and Beck could have some "privacy." Her face practically turned into that smirk emoji when she said that.

A few weeks went by, and almost all of our conversations revolved around Beck, and then, they started getting into fights, and our conversations still revolved around Beck after that.

The first time they'd quarreled, Jade called me, and it was like eleven o'clock and it was a Tuesday night. We had school the next day. And she was all, "Robbie, can you come over?"

But I said, "Jade, it's eleven PM on a school night, no."

And then I heard her sniffle, and that's when I realized she was crying. So I went to her house and she told me that she and Beck got into a fight because he told her that she overreacted sometimes, and Jade was shocked by that, she actually was. She thought it was preposterous for him to think such a thing. I'd mastered the ways of Jade West long ago, and I knew to keep my mouth shut and agree with Jade that Beck had no right to say something like that.

The thing about Jade is she seems all tough and independent to people that don't know her. Honestly, she's really fragile. She needs someone to cherish her. And she does overreact sometimes and she likes things her way but she's very brave and strong at the same time. She can be really caring, if she likes you. She's really hard to figure out. It was after witnessing the aftermath of a handful more fights between Beck and Jade did I realize that it was going to take Beck a while to understand that.

Was I supposed to give Beck lessons about Jade or something? Was I supposed to quiz him on all of her coffee preferences? (She prefers French roast because it's not light, with just a sprinkle of sugar and a splash of cream. Sometimes she takes it black, but that's only if she didn't sleep the night before and looks like she's dying, though you never tell her aloud that she looks like she's dying. Never buy her coffee from McDonald's, or any gas station, and if you get her a coffee from Starbucks, it better not be any frilly shit. She's not pretentious, it's just that Starbucks genuinely sucks. Starbucks is to coffee as McDonald's is to burgers.) Should I translate what every one of her glares mean and what he needs to do when she does them? This boy was pretty much clueless about how to _really_ handle Jade; all he'd been doing the past few weeks was fucking her. And that simply wouldn't do, because Jade was so much more than that.

Since I was friends with both Jade and Beck, I was able to see both parties after these fights, and let me tell you, Beck did not seem upset at all. He would be totally chill in class and at lunch, like nothing happened. Maybe he knew that Jade had already told me that they had temporarily broken up because of a fight (did I mention that happened? Well, that happened) and then he knew that Jade had already told me that they had gotten back together four days later. Beck is a distant character. I don't think he likes emotions or expressing them too much.

Maybe Finn was getting the backlash of these fights. Maybe those two have been secretly hooking up this whole time. It wouldn't surprise me, honestly.

Anyway, are you wondering about Cat? Well, I'm about to talk about her. Hold your horses. She wasn't my girlfriend. Not for real, anyway. You know, we hadn't gotten to "that level" yet. Also, why are people trying to split relationships up into levels? This isn't Super Mario.

But we talked on the phone, like, every night, and every night my sister would knock on my door and tell me to shut up because she's trying to sleep and Cat would just giggle and we would hang up. And when we'd hang out, we'd try to go out and do actual date-like things but we'd never find a place and then we'd end up just driving around, and one time we found a place to park and we made out. Real talk—that actually happened. I never thought something like that could happen to me, but it did.

After that, we decided to not waste gas money if we were never going to be able to decide on a place to go, so we would just hang out at each other's houses. Cat had convinced me to start watching _romantic comedies_. She also told me to call them _romantic comedies_ instead of _chick flicks_. By hanging out with her, I have been able to finally watch gems such as _Say Anything, Legally Blonde, 13 Going on 30_ and _Clueless_. We were in the middle of _A Walk to Remember_ when she turned to me and said, "Would it be weird to change my relationship status?"

I froze, as I was not expecting a question like that to come up in the middle of the cheesiest movie that had ever been made, but then I just said, "No."

That made Cat smile. "Right now?"

I shrugged, "If you want."

Cat took out her phone and did it right then, and that's when I remembered that I hadn't told Jade anything about any of this yet. But it was too late, the deed was done, and a few minutes later, I was getting a call from Jade.

"Hello?" I answered as nonchalant as I could, getting up from the couch Cat and I were settled on and scurrying to a room that was quieter.

" _Relationship?_ " Jade was nearly shouting, her voice piercing and firm.

"Yeah."

" _I had no idea?_ " She was putting emphasis on like, every word.

All I could say was, "Sorry."

" _Sorry?_ "

"I know I never told you…"

" _Yeah._ "

"But you were busy with Beck."

" _So?_ "

"And maybe I wanted to keep something to myself for once."

There was a long pause after I said that, and I couldn't tell if that had hurt Jade's feelings or not. She finally said, her voice a lot calmer now, "I'm happy for you."

"Really?" I furrowed my eyebrows, even though she couldn't see that.

She exhaled, "Of course."

Another pause occurred before I could bring myself to say anything, and when I did, I just said, "Thanks." Then, I told her that I better go, because me and Cat were watching a movie, and then I could hear that smirk emoji in her voice when she asked what movie, and I made one up, because I knew that she would laugh if she found out we were watching _A Walk to Remember_.

I must say, I really underestimated Jade. I thought that she would be super nosy about me and Cat, but all it took was me rudely telling her that I wanted to keep something to myself, and she backed off. She also stopped talking less about Beck, and that may or may not have been because she thinks another reason I didn't say anything about Cat to her was because she was talking about Beck all the time. Also, her and Beck had gotten through both their "honeymoon" phase and their "fight about everything" phase. They were in their "falling in real love" phase, and I know, because Jade told me. She really told me that she thought she was in love with Beck. I just said, "Wow." Which wasn't very supportive at all.

Weeks were passing, and weeks turned into months, and next thing I knew, I was having a girlfriend. Like, a real girlfriend. Because for months, all Cat and I did was hang out, and make out, and text at school even though we weren't allowed, and she met my parents and my sister, and I met her Nona and her mom, and we were turning into a real couple which was seriously uncalled for. We didn't go through a "fight about everything" phase like Beck and Jade did, or really the "honeymoon" phase, for that matter. At least, not the way that they went through their honeymoon phase. They had a lot of sex during that phase (although I don't think they lightened up much when they moved out of that phase, anyway), whereas Cat and I didn't at all.

Whether or not we were in the "falling in real love" phase when we finally did have sex isn't even that important to me. In fact, none of these phases are important to me. This is just like the levels thing.

But this is where the weird part happens because we actually had sex. It was kind of awkward the first time because we both had no idea what we were doing. We lost it to each other, if you want to put it that way. And I was kind of nervous, because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I kept asking, "Are you okay?" Like, I couldn't stop asking that. I'm an idiot. I'd take off a layer of her clothing, and then I would ask her if she was okay, and she would just giggle at me and say she was.

And oh my god, no one told me how confusing condoms were? Okay, maybe confusing isn't the right word. But when your hot girlfriend is kissing your neck in that place where she knows it drives you crazy and you're caught up in everything because you've never experienced anything like this before, it's kind of impossible to put a condom on for the first time. Cat just giggled again at my struggles.

She giggled a lot, actually. A lot more than I expected. The whole thing wasn't what I expected at all. Actually, I don't know what I was expecting. But it wasn't anything like what actually happened. Yeah, Cat giggled sometimes, and other times she didn't, but we still were being pretty quiet because we were in her basement and her brother was two floors above us and he could come down to the first floor for a Gatorade at any moment. She left scratches on my back and hickeys on my collar bone and I was so whipped for her. They acted as battle scars to show that, "Hey, I had sex recently!"

Overall, I think we had a pretty good first time. Do I sound like a top critic on sex? Eight out of ten, would bang again. Hey, that rhymed.

We obviously got some more practice in later on. That's when I learned how weird sex was. It's just that it's really intimate, I guess. I can't imagine being a prostitute or something. Part of what I think makes sex really great is that most of the time, you're experiencing it with someone you really care about. And I really cared about Cat. Maybe even loved her. I don't know. I don't really like thinking about that. But it's true.

 **A/N: whaT IS THIS I AM SO SORRY**

 **I know this ended kind of weird but I know what I'm doing next. It's k. It's k.**


End file.
